Detroit emcee Red Pill by way of Mello Music Group released a new LP on August 26th titled Instinctive Drowning. The title track is available in video form and depicts the rapper attending a party where nobody notices him. Meant to convey the feeling of depression  you see Pill go from confusion, to anger, to rage, to loneliness, to helplessness within the time frame of the track. Turning to liquor to deal with the deafening silence. The song equally captures the frustration by trying to cope with being an alcoholic in order to deal with that deep depression. While acknowledging what may be the catalyst for the disease he recognizes he is stuck on what may be an inescapable road. Like all stories it could have had a happy ending but reality is rarely so kind. I don’t usually post lyrics to songs, but below is the second verse from the song. As someone who has struggled with both alcoholism and depression for a large portion of my life, the song hits close to home but offers a certain level of comfort. Click here to purchase the album

You think that I don’t see the warning signs?

Death by the bottle, I’m immortalized

On every corner there’s a trigger for me

A pink neon sign saying there’s liquor pouring

A pink neon sign just to remind me of it

A pink neon sign saying my time is coming

Just shy of the age when her liver failed

Most of my money is spent on liquor sales

And you can talk about the reasons

You can chalk it up to talkin’ to my demons

Maybe it’s something gone undiagnosed

Maybe I’m scared of suicide so I’m dying slow

Yeah, Mr Slow Suicide with this big f***ing heart and regret is in his eyes

It’s only medicine

It’s only something to make me feel better when my head is in a f***ing tail spin

And I hate myself

When I’m overwhelmed with life and I can’t save myself

Went from a little to a 5th a day

I just want to go back, how did it get this way?

I just want to go back, how did it get this way?

I’m not f***ing stupid I can’t live this way

And what would Cath do without me?

What would Dad do without me?

Look what I would leave behind

But I feel like I’m losing my mind

I’m a loser, I sing the blues I’m not doing too fine

The other night I had a dream, I’m in a car without a driver in the passenger seat

And right behind me was my mother and a child

And I smiled

She hadn’t come to see me in a while

The thing about dreams is nothing is odd

We were flying down the lodge, I was thinking about God

The mood started to change

Looked back and my mother slowly turned to remains

The baby was gone and I looked to my right

Out the window and they had taken the good in my life

And like a movie, a car pulled up next to me

Couldn’t tell who it was driving the hooptie

He pulled up ahead and pulled out a gun

I tried yelling but my words wouldn’t come

He points it at me, then I hear from the sky

I’m going to make you famous

I’m going to make you famous

I’m going to make you famous

I’m going to make you famous

I’m going to make you famous

I’m going to make you famous

And then came the “bang”